Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Children Who Are Attached to Their Mothers.

What is considered the hallmark of children who are securely attached to their mothers?

What is considered the hallmark of children who are securely attached to their mothers? is something that could be answered by a large number of different things. It may depend on the person’s age, where the child was raised, their culture and so much more. One thing can be said though, children who are securely attached to their mothers tend to do better in school, have fewer instances of behavioural problems, are happier and healthier overall. In order for children to form an attachment with their mother they must first trust her as a caregiver and be comfortable being vulnerable in front of her. 

This is achieved by building stable relationships as well as sharing emotions with one another; for example playing or talking about feelings or experiences together which help the child know that Mom will always listen and not judge them for what they say. Children who are attached to their mothers can be identified by how they act around her. It is the children who are secure in their mother’s love and care that will show distress if she leaves but return to normal functioning once she returns, as well as showing distress if she leaves and does not come back, but react without concern when other caregivers attempt to take her place. Children who are not securely attached to their mother or feel that she doesn’t have time for them usually act out in an attempt to get attention from her; this could mean getting into fights or would engage in emotional threats such as “No one loves me,” “I hate you” and “I wish I was never born.

What is the use?

Children who are attached to their mothers tend to be more successful in school and have fewer behavioural problems. They also do better at maintaining friendships and having a healthy social life.  Research has been done that shows that children who are attached to their mothers are less likely to be anxious or depressed, which makes them more relaxed and confident, which in turn helps them perform better academically as well as having better relationships with others. This can contribute to a healthy, balanced upbringing for all family members by giving them the support they need for academic success and being able to build positive relationships with others.

What makes it so unique?

In comparison to other attachment styles, securely attached children tend to show no signs of anxiety, depression or loneliness. In fact, it is even suggested that a securely attached child will develop a stronger and more positive relationship with their mothers than an anxious insecure or avoidant child would. This then can be used as a model for the rest of their upbringing and how they form relationships with others in their life. This then has implications that can continue all throughout their lifetime. The securely attached child will tend not to have setbacks in school and also may be more successful at maintaining healthy friendships as well as forming successful relationships in adulthood. These children will show less aggression and antisocial behaviour, making them more successful in relationships. They also may be more likely to want to behave in a similar manner as their parents would, which means that they would follow the same work ethic and have the same morals as their parents.

What are the disadvantages?

The disadvantage looks at all of the disadvantages that come from being attached to your mother and how it could be potentially harmful for a child’s development.  Studies have shown that children who are attached to their mothers tend to perform worse academically than those who are not attached at all or insecurely attached. The attachment that these children have with their mother may be overprotective and in some cases too close, which could look like being overly dependent on the mother, trying to get as much attention as possible or not being able to deal with separation from her. 

As a child grows they need to learn how to become independent, how to form relationships and deal with their emotions without their attachment figure. When children are unable to do this they can become anxious and insecure making it more difficult for them to form relationships with peers and then not be able to put the effort into school work.

What are the advantages?

Being attached to your mother is advantageous as it helps children form healthy relationships with others as well as building healthy morals and work ethic, which can carry through their entire lifetime.  It can also be helpful for a child’s development if they have an unhappy home life, or lack of a relationship with another love that is safe and secure. It also shows a strong bond between them and their mother which can benefit all their future relationships. It provides the support that they need to have successful relationships in life and to help them follow the same work ethic as their parents.

What is the difference between attachment styles?

Securely attached children have a positive attitude towards their mothers while they are present in their lives. They will show calm and happy behaviours when they are with her, and may not question whether or not she will be present in the future. Children who are securely attached to their mothers can also be identified by how they act around her. Children who are secure in their mother’s love and care will show distress if she leaves but return to normal functioning once she returns, as well as showing distress if she leaves and does not come back, but react without concern when other caregivers attempt to take her place. This is compared to children who are insecurely attached where they show intense emotional reactions when their mother leaves or does not return home.